Friday, December 14, 2012

When horrible things happen

In September a man abducted a child from my kids' school.  She got away and wasn't hurt.  He was eventually caught.  But when something that will "never happen to you" happens to you, your perspective changes.  Now every unfamiliar face is a potential suspect.

Today in Connecticut a man killed elementary aged children and adults.  Before the abduction at my children's school these events would, of course, upset me, but there was also a sense of being removed from the situation.  However, after the abduction these events hit closer to home.

I am having a hard time compartmentalizing these events.  I see the terrified looks on the children's faces and can picture my own children's faces with the same look.  I'm trying to detach myself, but can't.  Then I wonder if I really should.  I should be upset by this. I should be sitting here at my desk crying.  Something like this should not be shrugged off. We shouldn't just thank our powers that be that it wasn't our children.  But I don't know what else to do.

It's overwhelming, these emotions.  I don't want to feel them, but I do.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

And the scale keeps marching down!

This is amazing.  I'm losing weight almost daily.  I step on the scale 3-4 times a week and each time I'm down by a pound or more.  Today I hit the 50 pound lost mark.  This is in only 3 months, since starting the program in August.

If anyone out there is thinking of weight loss surgery I urge you to check it out.  It's not for everyone, but knowledge is power.  The more you know about your options the more likely you are to be successful in your weight loss.

Yes, my start to on this journey was somewhat rocky.  I never regretted having the surgery done, but I sure didn't enjoy a couple of the paths I went down.  I still mourn the loss of food. I still wish I could eat a huge juicy hamburger with cheese and bacon and fries.  But I am extremely glad I can't.

This is what's so great about this surgery.  If I slip up and give in to that juicy hamburger I can only eat about 4 bites.  It is physically impossible to eat much more than that.  On diets if you slip up you'll end up eating the whole burger and feeling guilty.  I don't have to feel guilty over 4 bites.

But please don't assume I'm eating 4 bites of hamburger every day.  That's not healthy and I'm not only training myself to eat less, but to eat healthy as well.  I need to establish healthy eating habits now, for if I don't I'll start to gain weight back after I hit my goal.

I know I'm not done with the bumps in my journey.  In fact, there will be much more after I hit my goal weight and need to maintain.  But I am so happy with the choice I made.  I'm glad I took this step in getting myself healthy. I did it for myself and my kids.