In September a man abducted a child from my kids' school. She got away and wasn't hurt. He was eventually caught. But when something that will "never happen to you" happens to you, your perspective changes. Now every unfamiliar face is a potential suspect.
Today in Connecticut a man killed elementary aged children and adults. Before the abduction at my children's school these events would, of course, upset me, but there was also a sense of being removed from the situation. However, after the abduction these events hit closer to home.
I am having a hard time compartmentalizing these events. I see the terrified looks on the children's faces and can picture my own children's faces with the same look. I'm trying to detach myself, but can't. Then I wonder if I really should. I should be upset by this. I should be sitting here at my desk crying. Something like this should not be shrugged off. We shouldn't just thank our powers that be that it wasn't our children. But I don't know what else to do.
It's overwhelming, these emotions. I don't want to feel them, but I do.
I don't think we should separate ourselves from events like this. we MUST learn from them and grow from them and figure out what might be making them happen. There's so much mental illness in this country/the world and it's such taboo, but it just should not be. There's no other reason for why people do things like this other than their brain is simply not working properly and they're not treating it. it happens, more than people care to realize, and for most, it's nowhere near this tragic, but this isn't an event that just effects one person anymore, between the victims and their families and any and all parents in the world who see this story, millions if not billions will see the effects. Good or bad for them, change MUST happen. What that is, it's up to the schools and the parents and our government.....I mean, really, no one wants to pay for ANYTHING anymore! except the latest electronic gadget they'll stand in line for for 4 days, but standing in line 3 hours to vote was just too much. PRIORITIES! And the tangent is over :) But really, I don't even know what my brain is doing right now, my heart is broken for all involved and I'm glad I went out of my way to hug my precious little one and husband and tell them I loved them as I left for work. After that door is closed, it's out of my control.
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