Thursday, October 25, 2012

Grieving The Loss of Food


Not eating real food is depressing. My family is eating and I sit here with my stupid broth. Again. I just want one bite of the hamburgers they’re having tonight. One bite of the egg sandwich they had this morning.

I know I’ll be able to in a while. But knowing that doesn’t really help me right now. I find myself on the verge of tears sometimes.  I’m grieving the loss of food. At times it makes me want to find a time machine and turn back time and not have the surgery.  If I was actually faced with that choices, chances are I wouldn’t take it.  But right NOW I might.

I knew the journey would have it’s up hills and down hills. I just had no idea how they would affect me. 

I look back on my last post about being in pain.  I’m not anymore.  I still get weird twinges when I eat and drink, but nothing like before.  So, of course, I’ll someday look back on this post and realize I was soon able to eat real food again.  It’s just hard to get out of the here and now.

7 comments:

  1. Look at it this way, you'll have a smaller appetite after this!

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  2. When I was in college we almost lost my dad to a severe Crohn's flare. When he was out of ICU, the docs tried an English technique - extended liquid diet. It saved his life but for close to six months he lived on Ensure.

    He still talks about his first solid meal: one tablespoon of egg on a 1x1 inch sq piece of dry toast. Food is such a visceral part of our lives, our heart.

    You will get past this,just know you aren't nuts for hurting. And the we get fact that it will pass doesn't make it any easier right now.

    Love you <3

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  3. You have every right to feel the way you do and grieve but don't let that grief or fear cripple your progress. You're stronger that what you are feeling. Hate on it but don't dwell in it. One hour at a time I always say in anything that is difficult :-)

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  4. I've not had WLS, but still have had to sit and watch my family be able to eat and enjoy many foods that I just couldn't. And It's HARD, when food has been something that I'd had an unhealthy emotional relationship for so long, to not be allowed it, hurt.
    You are amazing, and what you are doing is hard and brave and is going to make you feel so much. ((()))

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  5. Julianna,
    ***HUGS***
    You're doing it one day at a time and that is all you can ask of yourself!
    Karen

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  6. Food is such a part of our lives. And for many (most?) of us it also has deep rooted emotional attachements. It's perfectly normal to mourn it when you can't enjoy it for an extended period of time. ((HUGS))

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  7. I understand the mourning period. I missed food right after my surgery, but it does get better. Keep reminding yourself that. I am better today then yesterday and I will be even healthier for it. Love you

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