Tuesday, October 16, 2012
The inner bitch needs to be slapped
Tomorrow is the day. I’m to report to the hospital at . Probably means my actual surgery will be closer to . I’m trying very hard not to think about it because when I do I freak out a bit.
I have this inner voice that can’t possibly believe I can ever be thin. She likes to remind me about all my failed attempts to lose weight in the past. She likes to tell me to not get my hopes up because I might lose weight, but before I know it I’ll gain back all the weight and then some, just like before.
That bitch needs to shut her fucking mouth. Because you know what? I WILL be successful this time! I am being given a tool that will make this attempt successful. Unlike other diets where I’ll eat good for a couple days, then fall off the wagon and say “screw it! I just can’t do this”, I will not be able to not eat well. I will be physically incapable of gorging myself. There is no way to NOT lose weight. And once I get to my goal weight I will have been trained to eat well. There’s no going back. The fat me will not exist anymore.
So, where ever you are tomorrow around pacific, send a little thought out for me. And a little bitch slap to that inner voice.